I have the privilege of helping answer questions from many people who want to serve orphans short-term, long-term, or even start their own orphanages or other Christian Ministry. Thousands of people come to my blogs each month, I believe sent by God, to find answers. I’ve seen some that have godly passion and others that have self-centered passion, what the Bible calls “selfish ambition or vain conceit” (Phil. 2:3 NIV). I am writing this post as a brother, out of my own past weaknesses and experience to help you the reader navigate through your journey of serving God. I pray the Holy Spirit will guide you. I’m no better than any of you. However, over the past 9 years of serving orphans fully, God has given me some experience that I need to share with you.
A New Assignment
After God led me to resign from my work as a medical doctor in the U.S. in 2010, the focus that he has given me has been to use my years of experience caring for orphans to help others provide better care for orphans so that we can raise the standard of orphan care. The picture he has given me is to let others stand on my shoulders so that they can see further and do more that I have been able to do. That will glorify God. So I believe God has called me to select qualified people who are going into ministry and mentor and equip them so they can serve him better.
Refining Diamonds
God’s people are like diamonds in the rough that need someone to polish them so they can shine brighter and brighter. They are good seed that need good soil where they can take root, grow, bloom and bear fruit; where someone can water them and prune them so that they can bear more fruit. God uses other Christians to water and prune others. That is how he has always done it in the Bible and outside the Bible. And that’s how he does it today.
Motive is crucial in serving God well
In doing my job, I see that many times, truly ‘honest’ and passionate people want to serve orphans or start a ministry because of a self-centered motive. Many times, they don’t know it. I believe the reason for this is that many of us are not broken and fully surrendered to God. When were are not broken and surrendered to God, we will be proud whether we want to or not. We who have a Christian background get really good at masking our pride. We know just the right things to say. We may even go into ministry thinking that we are motivated by God when we are not. The Bible says, knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. (1 Cor. 8:1). A person cannot know the love of God or fully love God unless they first thoroughly fear God, are broken, and have surrendered their wills completely to God. Many of us are not there yet, so our knowledge usually makes us puff up; it makes us proud. We just have good techniques of concealing it.
Screening for good motive
To ensure that a person’s motives are godly, I seek people who are NOT only passionate about starting their own orphanages or ministries to care for orphans but people who are simply passionate about orphan care in general–it doesn’t matter where. That kind of heart is more likely from God. These people are usually happy to serve with another good organization for a few years or forever because they have confidence that God can use them in an existing organization even more quickly than when they start their own organization from scratch. In fact, they may be like Moses who didn’t want to go take the Jewish people out of Egypt and be the founder of the new free nation. They want to serve with another organization. They are humble like Moses whom the Bible says was the most humble man in the world. Their focus is on helping as many orphans as possible, as quickly as possible, as best as possible, as God honoring as possible. They have no ambition to have their name on anything. In fact, the way God does things, he will choose these people after they have been serving somewhere else for years like Moses (who was serving his father in-law Jethro for about 40 years) because of their humility and lack of personal ambition. The only reason they would do it is because God has sent them. They wouldn’t have any passion or ambition of their own. In that way, God will get all the glory.
A telltale sign of an evil motive
But some of the people who ask me questions are people who are passionate about orphan care only if it’s them that start the orphanage and run it. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I’m pretty sure that call is not from God if it’s so self-centered. Some of us may sponsor one or two orphans here or there, been on a mission trip or two or three or even ten mission trips. But we wouldn’t consider laying down our lives to serve orphans on a consistent basis with another Christian leader who is already running a respectable orphan care organization. We wouldn’t serve with them. The Bible is clear, one can put a thousand to flight, but two can put ten thousand to flight. But we prefer to go solo right from the start. We want to be the ones that God sends people to serve with; not the ones who are sent to serve with someone. God is a very just God. We always reap what we sow. That is the law of harvest. It never changes. That kind of mentality is usually from a spirit of rebellion, inability to work with other Christians and share responsibility. As far as God is concerned, there is enough opportunity for everybody to shine when Christians work together. God has an abundance mentality. He has an abundance of resources and we don’t need to be threatened by serving with other Christians who are willing to share the responsibilities and privileges with us. I want us to know this: many churches and Christian organizations are started every year by people whose motive is not wholly to honor God. Some of us know it and do it and others think they are motivated by God when they are not. We need to realize that you and I may be about to make that same mistake if we don’t pay close attention to make sure our passion and motives are well grounded in the will of God and that we are truly broken, humble, have no selfish ambition, and are putting the interests of the orphan first.
Consider joining another organization
Honestly consider this: If the interest of the orphans is the only thing that motivates us (and nothing from our flesh), we know that there are many great orphan care organizations (like the Shaping Destiny Movement) that are already serving orphans on the ground; they have more orphans than they have people willing to serve; and they are happy to bring new people on board, train them and give them the freedom to serve with them or start a new branch in a different location and lead it if they have the skills and calling. They are willing to train and mentor people and allow their gifts and talents to shine, to suffer with them and laugh with them as they serve God together. If you joined one of these, you will immediately start serving orphans in a short amount of time while learning and growing. Knowing all that, and considering that God wants unity among his children, he wants his children to be humble and share and serve with each other and not be struggling over power or to be the founder of something, why do we rush to start our own organization first? Why are we so eager to go solo rather than join someone who is already doing it and help make it better and reach more orphans easier and faster and better? When Jesus trained his disciples, he didn’t have a solo founder. In fact, he made sure they knew that a leader was to be the slave of all. A slave has no rights; he belongs to his master. If a leader is the slave of all, it means the leader is the servant of all and really doesn’t focus on founding or controlling anything. The Holy Spirit causes people to listen and follow Christians who are slaves of all. The paradigm of leadership that Christ set is very different from the paradigm of the world where people are always seeking for a position of leadership. Mother Theresa was that kind of leader. Her name is remembered all over the world not because she founded something but because she was a slave to the people she served. Many people have founded bigger organizations and companies than she did, yet their names are not remembered. For a long time, Mother Theresa resisted others who wanted her to register her charity so that donations could be made to it. She didn’t want anything that will distract her from being a slave to the people she was called to serve. Years later, she yielded for the charities to be registered because she saw that the poor people she served were missing large amounts of donations.
Is it impossible that God can call someone to start an organization when others already exist? No, not at all. But from history and the Bible, we see that he usually does this when existing Christian organizations or people are not obeying him to do what he commanded. When they cannot easily cooperate and do his will. It often is because the other organizations or people are walking away from God or not listening to him. That’s how God raised a new prophet or a new King. For example, he raised David up because he had lost confidence in Saul. If he hadn’t lost confidence in Saul, he might have raised David to be one of Saul’s commanders just like David ended up being before was king. We need to remember that it’s all about God. But that is not usually the case when we start a new orphanage or ministry. Many times, it’s not because there is no good ministry for us to serve with and take God’s work higher and bless more people by working together. Our motivation is usually self-centered but clothed in our Christian lingo and selfish passions.
We can be smart but unbroken–that’s dangerous
An important question we need to ask ourselves is: Are we truly at the point in our lives where we can say to God in ALL honesty, “my life belongs to you,” do with me me as you will and I will be okay because I trust you. Send me to Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, to hell and I will go. If we haven’t gotten to that point, honestly, our flesh is still ruling and we are more likely to follow that fleshly passion. I want to be honest with you. When I started the orphan care & disciplemaking movement called Shaping Destiny, right before I started medical school in 2005, I wasn’t broken. I didn’t even know that I was not broken and that I was proud. Everybody saw me as humble, but inside I was proud and didn’t even know it. I was smart at school; a valedictorian in my high school; attended a Harvard level University in Texas called Rice University (the best and most competitive university in the entire state) and was a strait-As student there when I applied to medical school. I entered into medical school even before I finished my undergraduate work. This is a feat that few people achieve. In my class of about 100 students, there was only one other person who was admitted like that. They basically saw that I was a great student and waived the requirement to graduate first. I was rising in the local church and preaching sermons from the pulpit on Sunday, leading small groups and being a model of a successful Christian to others. But I was rotten and proud inside without even knowing. I was judgmental, always critical of other people’s way of doing ministry. Because I’m gifted with understanding things, at least academically, I was usually correct. The people were almost always making the mistakes that I was pointing out. So I was always winning battles but loosing the war of submitting to spiritual authority. Knowledge puffs up but love builds up. Love lays down its life (like Jesus) and serves others. Love corrects gently and complements others when they are weak.
We must surrender it all
It wasn’t until God called me to stop my medical career and serve orphans full-time that by His Grace, I really learned the need for complete surrender and respect for spiritual authority. He was clear with me, I cannot grow and serve him unless I surrender. His requirement was for me to get myself with all honesty to the point where I was truly willing (as God will know) to quit Shaping Destiny, the ministry I had founded and loved to go serve under someone else (in a small unknown ministry) for as long as he wanted. This was happening to me when I had given up my medical career. Today, I am still an MD, a physician, but I had dropped all hopes of going back because of God’s call (and this was, in my view, a big sacrifice for me to make, it was difficult for me). Going back will take a few years of recertification. I was frustrated, angry, and confused. I had made the biggest sacrifice that I could ever make in resigning medicine to serve God. I was giving up the opportunity of making 200,000 U.S. dollars or more a year. And I didn’t even have a salary. I was basically living on charity and my wife’s income, something that I hated. God used that to teach me humility. It was only when I went through my anger, and frustration and finally surrendered to God and totally and honestly told him, “Lord, I surrender to you, I’m willing to do whatever you want, to serve wherever you want me to, to leave Shaping Destiny and hand it to someone else, to close it and go wherever you want me, even if no one ever notices me or the sacrifice I make.” Immediately I got to that point, I felt God tell me something similar to what he told Abraham when Abraham was about to sacrifice his son Isaac. He said to Abraham, “Do not lay a hand on the boy. Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.” Genesis 22:12. Shaping Destiny and the kids there was the only thing I had left to hold on to after I had resigned from my medical career. It was my Isaac. When I finally said “I give it up” to do whatever God told me and God knew I meant it from my heart, he told me clearly that he doesn’t want me to give up Shaping Destiny. In fact, he said he will bless the movement and let me serve it till the end. Then He later followed by giving me a huge vision of what he will do through the people that are mentored and trained by the movement to go and serve God wherever he calls them. We must surrender it all. We cannot hear God when we haven’t surrendered it all.
Dr. R. A. Torrey said something about the importance of surrendering one’s will to God that is important to bring up here. He was referring to hearing God by reading the Bible but it also applies to hearing God in any other way. He said, “A surrendered will gives that clearness of spiritual vision necessary to understand God’s Word. Many of the difficulties and obscurities of the Bible rise simply because the will of the student is not surrendered to the will of the author of the Book. It is remarkable how clear, simple, and beautiful passages that once puzzled us become when we are brought to that place where we say to God, ‘I surrender my will unconditionally to Yours. I have no will but Yours. Teach me Your will. A surrendered will does more to make the Bible an open book than a university education. It is simply impossible to get the largest profit out of your Bible study until you surrender your will to God. You must be very definite about this. Many will say, ‘Oh, yes, my will is surrendered to God,’ but it is not. They have never gone alone with God and said intelligently and definitely to Him, ‘O God, I here and now give myself up to You, for you to command me, lead me, shape me, send me, and do with me absolutely as you will.’ Such act is a wonderful key to unlock the treasure house of God’s Word. The Bible becomes a new Book when a man surrenders to God. Doing that brought a complete transformation in my own theology, life, and ministry” I can honestly say with Dr. Torrey, that my Christian walk was transformed when I did the same thing. If anything comes before us and God, even our ‘godly’ ambitions, it becomes an idol. The first commandment says, “You shall have no other Gods beside me”. The second is you shall not make or worship idols.
Passion has very self-centered tendencies
The truth is: Passion is a powerful force that has very self-centered tendencies. Passion is like a very vigorous horse that is both able to carry the driver to victory or to death. Godly wisdom is the bridle that guides the horse of passion to victory. Fear of God, surrender and brokenness before God is what will guide passion in the right direction. The most mature Christian is still a very self-centered person. We all are. That’s why we all need to be very careful with our motives and motivations. Caring for orphans or serving the poor has a strong appeal in and of itself that is apart from the call of God on the individual. We see atheists sponsoring orphans, starting orphanages, and adopting children. We see christian cult members adopting, Catholic Christians adopting, non-catholic Christians adopting, mormons adopting, straight people are adopting and gay people are adopting, witches even adopt and serve orphans too.
The passion or urge to serve orphans or do something good doesn’t necessarily arise from God nor honors Him simply because of the apparent sacrifice involved in it. The sacrifice involved in adoption or orphan care is like the sacrifice of childbirth. It’s painful but it has benefits to the parent that outweighs the pain. That’s why God haters want families too. We live in a culture where orphan care and adoption (especially of a child from a different color) is like a feather on a person’s hat. Everyone can see it. And many applaud it. Yes, there is strong opposition. But there is always opposition involved when someone wants to have a feather put on their hat for whatever reason.
Paul in 1st Cor. 13:9 “For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.” Because we only know in part, we need to be careful and follow wisdom, put the interest of orphans first, show humility, love and work with others, see others better than ourselves. These Biblical principles are natural laws that God has set. We can never go wrong following them.
My advise to my brothers and sisters who want to serve God through orphan care.
My advice to my brothers and sisters is this, if you have a passion to serve orphans, don’t jump to starting an organization. Many close daily. Instead, for a few years, pour your heart out completely by serving orphans with another trusted organization that will give you the privilege to do so and also use your leadership skills, gifts, and talents to build the kingdom of God. Choose one that will share the leadership with you equally as a brother or sister to the extent that you are mature to handle. Serve there for a few years. Then if God continues to call you, share your dream with them. If they are godly people, they will help equip you and share strategies and connections and even resources and help you get started better than you could ever do on your own.
You may even decide that you want to go and start a branch of that organization in the place God has called you and continue to lead and learn and serve together. God wants his children to serve together. What father doesn’t love to see his children serve him in unity? Jesus last prayer before he was crucified was that we be united and love one another (John 17).
In any godly organization, there is enough room for everyone to shine, to express their natural talents and abilities. If you don’t know a good organization that comes to mind, come and serve with me at the Shaping Destiny Movement and we will do our best to equip you. We are not in orphan care and ministry because we couldn’t do something else. We are here because God wants us here and I pray that we will always put God first. We will seek to hear God with you and affirm you when appropriate and rebuke when appropriate. We will share our bread with you as a fellow child of God. These feelings are the feelings of the leadership of Shaping Destiny Movement, not just mind. If you don’t like our movement for any reason, Google, search, ask, there are many other great organizations that you can join first and then start yours later if God continues to call you.